What if I told you that you are not so different from everyone else? Instead of asking, why do people hurt or cut themselves, we should ask why do all people. Cutting is actually similar to how a lot of people handle their problems. Please make no mistake, I am not excusing or condoning self-harm. However, understanding human nature and our reaction to adversity can help combat shame. This can also help us see that we are not alone. So let’s dig into that. Let’s take a look at how most people treat their problems. It is not uncommon to hear someone share of a difficult experience they are going through or have been through, and find ourselves surprised when they handle it well. In fact, many times we here people respond by saying things such as, “Wow, if that was me I would of” or “I can’t believe you didn’t” fill in the blank with a shameful reaction. We almost expect for us to act inappropriately when in the midst of adversity. Now that I think of it, what if this is our appropriately? The fact that we are shocked by someone acting in a healthy manner during a major stressor tells a lot about human nature. When we are cut off in traffic, we feel the need to flick that person off. When someone insults us, we think of an insult for them. When we are having a bad day, we want to drink our problems away. When we are unsatisfied with our partners, we have thoughts of cheating. True, while none of these reactions may cause physical pain or physical scarring. They do effect us emotionally and can scar us mentally. By nature, we like to think of our physical and mental selves as very different but they have more in common than we think. These negative responses, like cutting may bring a temporary feeling of relief but they too hurt us in the long run and can be habit forming. Getting angry to combat feelings of anger, using a depressant to fight feelings of depression, or adding to our relationship problems by adding problems to our relationship is the same logic as someone who uses pain to take away from their pain. Metaphorically, one could even argue literally, many of us use self-harm in attempt to solve our problems. This perspective helps us to see that we aren’t so different after all.