1.) Put Yourself In Their Shoes

The best way to understand where someone is coming from is to understand how they got there. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we understand the steps they took to get to where they are. This should be deeper than just trying to get their point. Think of the person’s history and character. Understand who they are to get a better view of their perspective. This will help you understand their thought and better equip your reply.

2.) It’s Better To Give Than Receive

This saying has remained golden for good reason. Most of us have come to the realization that it feels better watching someone open our gift than it feels to receive our own. In relationships however, our gifts keep on giving. When we go out of our way to meet the need or be helpful to others, we get more than the good feeling of seeing someone grateful. We also have encouraged them to do the same for us. So we feel good in this moment and when they continue to return the favor.

3.) Boundaries Help Them More Than You

Many times we don’t want to set boundaries because we don’t want to upset others. In the long run, we are doing just that however. By not setting healthy boundaries, we are doing more than just conditioning others to be unempathetic of others. We are also helping them encourage the downfall of our relationship as they move us closer to the point of where we can no longer stand this. It is better for us to defuse this now, before it explodes later.

4.) Get The Blueprints

Blueprints are more than just a drawing. They are a representation of the vision of that architect. Never assume to know the vision or direction that your partner has for your relationship. Ask them for their blueprints. Don’t be afraid to ask for specifics. Blueprints do not lack any detail. Once we have the blueprints, we will know whether we should continue to work with this architect and what we need to do to make this happen.