Anxiety/Relationships
Successfully Overcome
Anxiety And Dating
Encourage Yourself,
Don't Give Up On Yourself
Anxiety, believe it or not serves a purpose. The problem however, is that it sometimes takes it’s job a little to serious or shows up when it’s supposed to be off. The key to successfully overcoming anxiety and dating is to understand the purpose of your anxiety, ground yourself, and then encourage yourself to be yourself.
Why Do I have Anxiety?
Photography By: George Dagerotip
Anxiety is a symptom of the body being in fight or flight. Your body is attempting to protect you from something. It isn’t always justified however and being aware of why you are having it, can help us overcome it.
- Have You Been Through This Before
If you gone through a trauma or similar uncomfortable experience, your anxiety can be warning you to be careful. Whether your anxiety is correct or not, tell yourself that just because something happened once, it doesn’t mean it is happening again.
- Fear of Judgement
Do other’s opinions make you uncomfortable? We all want to be in a relationship but it needs to be with the right person. Take the pressure off of yourself. Remind yourself that you are seeing if this person is a good fit for you. They are also worried about their impression. Moving the concern from yourself to them will help take your mind off of your anxiety.
- Trying Something New
Anxiety can arise whether it’s a new type of person, location, or experience. We fear what we don’t know and we don’t know what we haven’t tried. It’s normal to feel a little anxiety surrounding this. Tell your date that this is new for you and they will be reminded when it was new for them as well. Now you have something to relate to, rather than separates you. The bonus is, it won’t be new after this as well.
How To Ground Yourself During
Anxiety and Dating
One of the best ways to combat anxiety is grounding. This isn’t any different for dating. Grounding is a therapeutic technique to help you stay present and in reality. Here is how we apply it to dating.
Photography By: George Dagerotip
- Take In The Atmosphere
If worrying about yourself is causing you anxiety, take a moment to take in the atmosphere. What do you smell? What sounds are around you? What can you see happening all around? This brings us back to reality and takes our mind off of ourselves.
- Where Are Your Feet
Is thinking about the past or future bothering you? Take a moment to actually think about where you are. Is the seat comfortable? What part of your body feels the most relaxed? Where is your weight being distributed? Being very alert of where we are physically helps us combat thoughts about the past and future.
- Use Your Date
Take the pressure off of yourself by using your date. Do what this was all about in the first place. Get to know them by being super observant. What makes the way they talk different from others? Try to notice a unique facial expression they make and compliment it. When they talk, repeat their words in your head. This will make you a better listener, stop you from thinking about what you want to say, and encourage you to say something aligned with what they just did.
Encourage Yourself to Be Yourself
Photography By: George Dagerotip
Trust me, be yourself. You are looking for someone that likes you. We can’t find them if you aren’t being you. If the person your dating doesn’t like you, we can save time by moving on and give our energy to the person who does.
- I’m Awkward
Good news, many people find this attractive. It also gives others permission to take off the mask they are wearing. We appreciate genuine people.
- I Don’t Know What To Say or DO
How fun, you now get to date yourself and someone else. Find out who you are by trying and saying different things. It’s a learning experience. Have fun with it.
- Encourage Yourself
We’ve learned where anxiety comes from and know that it doesn’t have to stay. Knowing is half the battle though. We now have to remind ourselves that it is ok and give ourselves permission to be ourselves. That’s right, we can successfully overcome anxiety and dating by giving ourselves permission to be ourselves. When anxiety arises, tell your body thank you but everything is ok. I am safe, this is normal, and I give myself permission to be myself.
Important Tips To Remember
- Anxiety is a warning but not every warning ends in disaster
- Use grounding exercises to take control
- You want to find someone that likes you, not who you are pretending to be
- Be yourself
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Successfully Overcome Anxiety And Dating. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
Contact Us
Email:
Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com