Relationships
Success in interracial marriage, dating, and relationships
Tips and Advice From A Therapist
Two people becoming one within a relationship is a difficult thing. Two people of different cultures make it even tougher. The best way to have success in an interracial marriage or relationship, is by educating yourself, being respectful, and speaking their language. We have found these key points to be very advantageous and will explain them further below.
Educating Yourself
Photography By: Lauro Cassule
Being openminded does not excuse you from educating yourself. There are many things that you don’t yet understand and that’s ok if you are willing to learn. Here are three topics to educate yourself that will aide your interracial marriage or relationship.
- Learning Their Culture
Never assume you know or completely understand their culture. Their experience and outlook because of that experience is different from yours. By learning their culture you are not only being respectful towards them, you are educating yourself on their beliefs, attitudes, and characteristics. Remember learning is an ongoing journey that you never graduate from.
- Learning Your Biases
Even the most openminded person in the world has biases. The only difference is that they’ll admit it. Think about how you were raised, what you’ve been through, and belief systems that you hold. Being aware of your biases prepares you for potential arguments and misunderstandings.
- Preparing For Adversity
You may be able to look past the color of someone’s skin or difference in their background, but many have not. Sometimes those people are our family or others we hold dearly. Know that this is a reflection of them and not you. Also, be prepared for any struggles you may experience while adjusting to the norms of your partner’s culture.
Be Respectful
Knowledge is a great start but what we do with that knowledge is more important. Knowing how to be respectful with what we’ve learned will help us to be understanding and understood within our interracial marriage.
Photography By: Lauro Cassule
- Celebrate Your Differences
No two cultures are the same, and you will find areas where you differ. By celebrating or enjoying these differences when they appear, you are being respectful and reducing the chance of conflict.
- Don’t Insult
Humor is a natural coping mechanism and sometimes we use it when we feel confused or feel threatened. Humor towards something we don’t fully understand can be offensive. Joking around or making fun over a cultural difference can often add problems to an interracial marriage or relationship.
- Don’t Adopt, Adapt
It can be excited to learn and experience a new culture. Being respectful is not taking it on as your own however. Being respectful is allowing it to coexist with your culture in an atmosphere that celebrates differences
Speak Their Language
Photography By: Lauro Cassule
While learning your partner’s native tongue would give you a better understanding of their culture, we are talking about doing much more than that. Speaking their language requires learning, adjusting, and participating in who they are.
- Learn How They Communicate
Communication is important in all relationships and this can be difficult in an interracial marriage. Study their culture, how are they communicating through word choice and body language? What is their tone?
- Be Willing To Adjust
Speaking another language takes adjustment. Adjusting can entail forgetting what you think you know and becoming teachable. It’s easier to adjust when you are willing to take advice.
- Try Things Their Way
Accepting a culture is a start. Actually trying it will help make sense during this learning process. You may come to like their way of doing something and gain a better understanding of what makes them tick.
Important Tips To Remember
- Prepare For Adversity
- Don’t Adopt Their Culture, Adapt
- Celebrate The Differences
- Learn To Speak Their Language
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, And Relationships. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
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